Friday, October 31, 2008

My love for Improv

During my first year of College, I took Acting, Improv I and Improv II. I am a spaz now, and was ESPECIALLY spazzy when I was 19. I have always had a love for Improv and quick wit in general. During coffee with Valency on Wednesday morning, we talked about this. Sigh. I told her about the VERY TALENTEd Jim Henson puppeteers of "Puppet Up! Uncensored". These people are SO talented! Manny and I found it playing on TBS one morning at 1:30 in the morning. It sucked us right in!

Enjoy! I know we did!

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

I Heart Graham Norton

I DO miss Graham Norton and British TV. Graham EVERY night keeps the Dr's away...I am STILL convinced of this fact.

Here's my favorite Graham clip with Roseanne Barr, of all people.


Friday, October 24, 2008

WHAT A DAY... hummmmp.

This morning when I dropped Cierra off at school, she shouted this as she was leaving:

"Bye Mom! Don't forget to finish sewing my costume for tonight's Fall Festival at the Youth Center!"


I tried to finish sewing her costume..I REALLY did. BUT it was not happenin'. McCalls patterns are not known for their 'ease of sewing'. I usually buy Simplicity or Butterick patterns, but this time they didn't have the right dress!

Since I couldn't manage to finish her Snow Queen dress, I left a little early from the shop and headed to the Dollar Store and Big Lots. I scored a long wig for ONE DOLLAR! I Picked up a highschool musical dress, that looked more like mermaid dress at Big Lots for $5.99. After that I hopped over to my house for my make-up kit and went straigh to The Fall Festival.

My living room floor looks like this till I'm done with her costume!!!

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Mermaid Mush

I am taking a break from my massive mound of homework to tell you all what happened tonight.

Apparently, my seven year old thinks she is a mermaid swimming wildly through the deep blue sea. I heard her splashing around, but didn't think anything of it, mainly because I was engrossed in Photoshopage. Once I get in the 'groove' I really HATE stopping for anything. This explains why most of my photoshoping is done between the hours of 9m and 2am.

Fast Forward ten minutes; I heard water dripping in my downstairs bathroom. (The bath upstairs is directly above it).

"Did I leave the sink on?", I asked myself.

(If I didn't talk to myself throughout the day, I would NEVER make it)

I dragged myself away from the computer, yelled up to Cierra that it was time to get out and took a look in my downstairs bathroom. The ceiling was leaking straight through, one droplet at a time. I don't mind the water, since I needed to mop anyway. What I DO mind, is the fact that the fancy-scha-mancy body powder I recently bought at Sephora, was all over the floor as well. THIS BUGGED. It was all mushy and gross. I had kid-induced mermaid mush!

Once she was out of the tub and in her pajama's, I went upstairs to inspect the bathroom floor. She was trying desperately to be slick and soaked it all up with her towel. The funny thing is, the towel was SO wet that it was dripping onto the floor.

Me: "Why is that towel so wet?"

Cierra: "I decided to mop the floor for you mom.", smiling proudly.

Me: "Ya missed a spot" winking at her with my arms crossed

Cierra: " I can get it for you tomorrow, after I take my bath."

Me: "Hmmm, I'm sure you will. Follow me downstairs for a minute..."

Cierra: "Why?"

Me: "Uh... Well... Because I said so..."

We trudge downstairs and into the bathroom (the ceiling was still dripping a little).

Me: "Know what that's from?"

Cierra: "Yeah, it's from the pipes, you should call the apartment fixer guy."

Me: "OR you could NOT 'mop' the floor for me"

Cierra: "OOOHHH, okay. Sorry mom"

Me: "So... what's up? Did you have fun playing mermaid?"

Cierra: 'Yeah, I wish it was summer again. I love swimming in the big pool and pretending that I'm a mermaid, but the bathtub works just fine for now."

And, THAT was how I busted Cierra for creating mermaid mush!

Some types of 'Discrimination' ARE legal...

MSN is my homepage. Every now and then I get distracted by random articles... this was one of them.
You know the woman -- the one who could wear a paper bag to a board meeting and still manage to look both beautiful and perfectly professional. As if it weren't annoying enough that she maintains her obnoxiously flat abs by lifting doughnuts to her mouth, it turns out your gorgeous co-worker may also be out-earning her less genetically-blessed colleagues.

Good looks can have a real impact on workers' bank accounts, according to research by Daniel Hamermesh and Jeff Biddle published in the Journal of Labor Economics. Attractive people earn about 5 percent more in hourly pay than their average-looking colleagues, who in turn earn 9 percent more per hour than the plainest-looking workers. This means if an average-looking person earned $40,000, their prettiest co-workers would make $42,000 while their least attractive colleagues brought home just $36,400. Plain-looking workers may also receive fewer promotions than those awarded to their more striking contemporaries.

Steven D. Spitz, D.M.D. and owner of cosmetic dentistry firm Smile Boston, said he once had a client who wanted his assistant to get veneers, and was even willing to pay for the dental work -- as long as the assistant asked for it. "He said this was a woman who was really good at her job and he was moving up (within the organization), but he couldn't take her with him because her teeth were so bad," Spitz said. The assistant never came in for the dental work, and Spitz said he didn't know what became of her career.

It remains uncertain whether the handsomest people translate their good looks into higher productivity, but students do consistently give better-looking professors higher evaluations than they give their less comely teachers, according to research by Hamermesh and Amy Parker at the University of Texas in Austin. Still, many experts warn against assigning too much value to beauty in the workplace, arguing that even if your good looks do get you in the door, they may not get you much farther.

Unlike religion, national origin or disability, discrimination based on looks is legal in most jurisdictions, said James McDonald, Jr., managing partner of the Irvine office of employment law firm Fisher & Phillips LLP. Washington, D.C. and Santa Cruz, Calif. are two of the only municipalities with laws explicitly protecting workers against discrimination based on physical characteristics or personal appearance, he said. Still, that hasn't stopped workers from launching unsuccessful lawsuits.

Fortunately, there's -- literally -- more to attractiveness than meets the eye. Researchers Markus Mobius and Tanya Rosenblat found that confidence makes up 20 percent of perceived attractiveness. To ensure the image you're portraying is a confident one, be sure your posture doesn't betray your nervousness. Keep your back straight, head high and make eye contact with your associates.

Moral of the story here.. get out your lipgloss more often than not. Botox and Veneers could possibly get you a raise. LOL

Monday, October 20, 2008

Balloon Fiesta 2008 Pictures

Here are the pictures from this years International Balloon Fiesta. It took me a bit because I wanted to make a digital collage, so all the pics wouldn't take up so much room! The first collage is from the early morning launch on Wednesday October 8th, 2008. We woke up at 5:00 am, stopped at Dunkin Donuts and headed to the launch. It was EARLY, but super fun. We camped out on the hood of the car with about five blankets, our donuts and a camera. When they all launched we headed to a side street off of Paseo called El Pueblo. It was a landing point. Got some great up close pictures- they were beautiful! The next evening, Thursday, October 9th 2008 was the International Balloon Fiesta Glodeo, were all the 'special shapes' balloons 'glow'! There was about 50 bazillion people there-uggg. The fireworks were amazing! The cow is me and Cierra's FAVORITE- it is SOOOO BIG!

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

GrilZ GiRl

On a recent trip to Urban Outfitters, I picked up some candy GrillZ for kids.....for some things... there are no words! lol

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Mouse Up Her Sleve... Literally

Today, was quite a day! It began at 5am-uggness! We woke up bright and early for the Balloon Fiesta Launch. I had to bribe my child out of bed with promises of Dunkin Donuts! I bribed myself with coffee. I absolutely adore Dunkin Donuts coffee! It is STRONG, CHEAP and MUDDY! I'll post pictures from Balloon Fiesta at some point tomorrow! We are going to the Glowdeo tomorrow night, so I'll just do a mass Balloon Fiesta post at some point... BUT not tonight!

The best part out of the whole day, happened at the close of a VERY busy, long day as I was cooking dinner.

It is Cierra's job to change the mice food every night. We have three mice, Chester, Snowflake and Ruby. They are completely nocturnal and usually begin getting started as we are finishing dinner. If you've ever seen mice at the pet store, you know that they are fast lil guys! Cierra has wanted to hold the mice since we got them, over a month ago, however, they don't agree with her. I'm good with that, I'm pretty sure if they got out, we'd never catch them.......alive.

Anyway, as she was complaining about how skunky they truly are, she completely froze. I caught her movement out of the corner of my eye and the following proceeded.....

She began doing the bug dance. The bug dance is the dance you do when you think there is a bug on you. Don't EVEN act like you've never done the bug dance... we've all done the bug dance!

WHILE she's doing the 'bug dance', with her body, she has her arm completely suspended over the tank. Her arm, however, looked like a 'statue arm'!

During the 'bug dance' and 'statue arm', she was screaming at the top of her lungs the way we do when our brains talk faster than our mouths can output coherent words.....

At this point, I can make out "MOOOOOOM!!!!! MOOOUUSSSSSEE IN MY SLEEEEEEEVE TAAIL... Just grab the TAIL!"....

We've never grabbed the mice by their tails because, as Manny would say, "It's just Rude!".

Apparently, the exception is when the mouse takes it upon herself to crawl up the inside of your sleeve. While I was attempting to get her out of Cierra's sleeve, she was wriggling her way further up it. This caused an even more chaotic 'bug dance', 'statue arm' escapade accept with the added component of the 'opera scream'.

(I've also seen grown men do the 'opera scream', or should I say man- Macho Man Dart Boy who to this day holds the record in making me pee myself over HIS fear of spiders. He'd argue it was black widows.. NOT just ANY spiders.)

So, after Cierra's perfect execution of the 'bug dance'/ 'opera scream'/ 'statue arm', I finally got Ruby, the mouse, out of her sleeve. The poor thing was shaking as much as Cierra was. During this whole escapade, I couldn't help not laughing. Actually, I haven't laughed that hard (at my child's expense) in a long time. Cierra WAS NOT happy that I found it so bloody funny.

I promptly pulled up an OLD Tom and Jerry video off of You Tube where basically the same thing happened.. THEN she laughed!

Monday, October 6, 2008

Pinto Gringo

While sleepily spell-checking the blog post directly below, it changed 'Pinot Grigio' wine, to Pinto Gringo--- I needa make a label! I find it completely amusing at the moment.
Don't bother asking why the Bob the Builder display (with pinto beans at his feet) is completely enjoyable to me. The sole purpose of this post is for my entertainment...

Cold Grean Beans and Cheap Wine

When I got home from class tonight, I tossed some buffalo chicken nuggets in the micro, and poured myself a pint of Pinot Grigio..... and YES, I said PINT. Between the cooking of the nuggets, which I failed to mention weren't meant to be microwaved......EVER, I dropped my whole wine glass holder, shattering my only three wine glasses. I was starving and frustrated, so I grabbed a pint glass and filled it with yummness. At that point, my nasty nuggets still had two minutes left to cook. Apparently, two minutes is entirely too long to wait for a growingly frustrated me; Instead of cooking my beans, I just ate them straight out of the can. It's been a cold green beans and cheap wine kinda day.

In the meantime, I was talking to my friend Marie, who informed me that I missed her Birthday on Saturday. Fucking great. To be honest, I haven't talked to her in well over two weeks. I put her in "Jen timeout" while her scum boyfriend was here 'visiting'. By 'visiting', I mean going to trial for HITTING her. I still get bugged talking to her sometimes, but she is the friend (everybody has one), who asks for advice with no intentions of EVER using it. I do love her, she's my friend... but I really do wanna strangle the sense into her most of the time.
I got off the phone with her before I proceeded to break all my wine glasses. I do believe I told her I'd call her back... that was over an hour ago... urrgg

I swear I wasn't stressed, or aggravated this morning. Somehow between morning coffee and now, I am a mess. I'm sure the fact, that my daughter yakked right before I took her to school today, missing the toilet and skimming my make-up kit had a good hand in starting it. OR maybe it was the fact that I was being a needy girlfriend and didn't get what I 'needed'. (You see, he is supposed to know what I need all the time, even when I don't lol). I put myself in a time out tonight, for HIS sake! Finally, add to the fact that I still haven't received the last two weeks of Unemployment pay due to me having to file the Federal Extension IN PERSON.

I just wanna go lay down in my nice warm bed and pretend that I don't have any responsibilities nagging at my every move... but then this homework wouldn't get done now WOULD it?

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Happy Horrible Person...

Yesterday Dillard's called me, I ignored the call, as usual. When I listened to my message, it was my old boss, Angela, telling me about the Lancome Gift with Purchase that begins on Tuesday.

I used to work for Lancome at Dillard's. Being a Beauty Advisor has its ups and working for Dillard's has its DOWNS! ThanksGOD, I'm not there anymore! However, the Lancome/Loreal company truly is wonderful!

Anyway, Dillard's canned me in March due to excessive absences. Excessive to Dillard's is three in a six month period. During that six month period my child had strep, and my ex refused to pick her up for me, forcing me to leave work and miss one full day. Even though I had a Doctors note for the two days I missed, it was during blackout period, meaning that I was Shit-Outta-Luck!

(Dillards' Blackout: between October and January; Months in which there are absolutely no excused absences/ tardies, even with a Dr's note)
I guess they expected me to find my sick child a sitter. I have no family in this state and they are RETARDED!
Long story, short, I was 'terminated'. Shortly after that I filed for unemployment, they appealed, I hired an amazing Unemployment lawyer, and promptly won my claim against them.
I ALWAYS make it a point to buy the gift with purchase with my Unemployment money that they pay me. It feeds my bitterness. There is always somebody that is curious 'what I am doing'. I get to smile and tell them, "Still claiming Unemployment and taking a full course-load towards me Master's". I usually throw in how it is so nice not to work weekend and nights anymore. LOL
Does this make me a horrible person? Probably... but I'm a happy horrible person, so screw off!

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Beardie Pics

I never took pictures of anorexic Shirley lizard, but here are some great shots of LaVern (and Cierra's baby blue's)! Cierra took this one tonight, I don't know what she had the camera set for-- but it's not bad at all!!! You can see how HUGE she's getting here!

The Tiniest Lil Compost Creation...

Got that chicken wire today... Cierra worked on her nailing skills, and promptly determined it is harder than it looks! I got all the nails started on scrap wood, and she hammered away!
I banged the stakes into the ground, so the wire is flush with the ground.
vio-la! Nothing fancy... but it'll most certainly do! It's a lot more sturdy than it looks- lol!

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Shirley Sheds... FINALLY

So, if you've been following my blog, then you know I have an anorexic lizard that refuses to eat live food. I have to blend her food, add vitamins and dropper feed her twice a day. She hasn't shed in FOREVER. Well, this morning when I picked her up for her morning feed, I realized that she was FINALLY shedding. Whooo-hoooo! It is nice to know all this dropper feeding isn't in vain. I am saving to buy her a mercury vapor light bulb (they are kinda expensive), I think that should help her out majorly. (The 'Solar Sun' bulb I got from Clark's last week, isn't mercury vapor... go figure).

Tonight I will take picture of both of the beardies- LaVern is HUGE, Shirley... isn't. sigh.